Welcome Understanding

Hello understanding, it’s me again, where have you been?
I had a short conversation over the phone with a good friend and muse, Kim. While chewing the fat for a while we came across a very familiar topic, it’s all about relationships.

That made me think about the time I wasted going into meaningless, physically shallow relationships that ended up being, well, crap. Story of my life, I am still a victim of society. I always turn my head when I see a really hot girl pass by, that’s natural, I’m a caveman.
I admit, I like beauty, but I value brains and wit better.
Being good looking is a bonus.

And those of you who are really good looking and I’m pretty sure you know it, don’t take advantage, that’s worse than cheating. Do not use your gift as leverage, it also fades.

As for love, I did meet love sometime in my 22 years, I could not understand it. I only knew it was there, it was pure and devious. It took out the best and worst of me at the same time. I was a student of love, and I learned the hard way, the hard life altering way. But it sure drew me closer to understanding, so it was partly, worth it.

My endless dilemma, the one I like, likes someone.
This happens to me all the time, all the time, all the time.

And it sure pisses me off, and its unfair, bad form.
But it has reasons, things you cannot change or control, we do not have to power to make decisions for someone else, we are not the law.
Circumstance is the enemy.

I’m an honest person, but I’m not tactless, so I’m a big irony. I’m also quite adept in keeping my true feelings, about someone I really like, so I’m a coward, a big massive coward. Although I try and wear a mask completely the opposite, but we all wear masks, we all do.

I understand now that what I try to be is not who I am, who I want to be known. My quest now is to figure out and understand life, the one that I am living. A life understood, is a life lived.