Weird Conversation

I was going home today after watching the movie "Enchanted" with Lhen and I had the weirdest conversation with the driver of the tricycle I was riding on. It totally blew my mind. So it went something like this.

someone calls to me while I am attempting to enter the tricycle
(It was some guy I know, we'll just call him GUY)
GUY: Aris! Pasabay!
I signal to him to hitch at the back
(It turns out, "GUY" knows the driver really well)

DRIVER: Sis, sasabay ka pa sakin, ma fa-flat ako niyan!
GUY: Di yan sis! Eto naman minsan lang eh.
DRIVER: Yun nga eh, minsan na nga lang ikaw pa sasabay...

(It seems the word "sis" is slang for "bro" or something)

barely overhearing their conversation over the rain
DRIVER: Di mo naman binabayaran mga babae ko eh..
GUY: (SOME REPLY)
DRIVER: Sinabi ko naman sayo, sa loob married ako, pero sa labas single ako.
GUY: Yun naman!
DRIVER: Single with children, bakit si Misis naman nag chachat ngayon, sinasabi niya rin sa chat "Hi, I'm single with children!"
GUY: HAHAHAHAHA!
DRIVER: Mapuputulan na nga yung smart bro niya eh, bahala siya, di ko yun babayaran! Tatlong buwan na. Pero baket kaya di pa nila pinuputol?

i made an attempt to enter the interesting conversation, which, I don't normally do

ME: Mapuputol na yan, tatlong buwan lang talaga.
DRIVER: Talaga tol? Tatlong buwan lang.
ME: OO, papadalan ka pa ng notice galing sa attorney nila!
DRIVER: Eh di maayos, hayaan mo na makulong misis ko para matuluyang single with children na ako, HAHAHAHAH!
GUY: HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

guy gets dropped off on his stop and I waved goodbye

DRIVER: Di nga? Tatlong buwan lang yun? 1,200 nga binabayaran buwan buwan eh.
ME: Bat ang mahal? 999 lang yun ah!
DRIVER: Di ko nga alam eh! Yaan mo misis ko magbayad nun, naghahanap nga ng Amerikano yun ngayon eh.

I started thinking and piecing the puzzle together, but I won't jump to any conclusions just yet, but I'm sensing his wife's occupation involves what I think it involves.

ME: Ahh. Eh di ayos.
DRIVER: Tangina, 3 months hehehehe.

Driver stops tricycle in front of my house while I'm looking for money to pay him

DRIVER: Pano ba yun sa chat? Magkikita kayo nung KANO tapos sex na diba?

I'm getting so confused right now but still staying with it

ME: Ah, wala ka ba webcam?
DRIVER: Webcam?
ME: Camera? Pwede mo sila singilin, maghuhubad ka lang!
DRIVER: Ah, ayaw maghubad ng misis ko eh.

For some reason the next set of words that came out of my mouth seemed automatic like I was trying to spit out some sensible shit

ME: Ah kung gusto niya sex, ayos, galante naman yung Amerikano eh, wag lang pinoy, makunat pinoy eh.
DRIVER: Ah ganun? Oh sige, salamat tol ah.

As I was walking down the front door, I realized how fucked up that conversation was I just blurted out "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?" Can you believe that conversation just happened between two complete strangers? I still can't... good days hehe.